Family
by kepc
Summary: This story is set in the time after Alex's death. I hated everything about how they killed Alex off without seeing his son, leaving Stevie shattered and yet again on her own. I'm not sure my heart is up to writing this but I'll give it a go for a chapter or two and see how it pans out. Let me know what you think?
1. Chapter 1 Presence

Consumed with grief at the loss of his brother plus watching his widow attempt to deal with a newborn had pushed Marcus well beyond the realms of rationality.

His relationship with Ingrid had spun out of control in a matter of weeks before bursting into oblivion when she'd foolishly suggested he was harbouring feelings for Stevie.

All he was doing was taking care of his sister-in- law and his nephew.

That's what families did for each other.

…..

Grace had tried talking to him but he had cut her down quickly.

"She's not sleeping Grace. What do you expect me to do abandon her? She lost her future, you know what they were like together how can she just move on?" He'd growled.

"You need to take a step back Marcus give her time and space. You don't have to be a replacement for him! Let her grieve." Grace had pleaded.

"You're jealous of the time I'm spending with her aren't you?" He'd accused.

The slap she'd delivered to his face stung but not as much as the accusation she'd hurled at him.

"You've got exactly what you wanted haven't you? He's out of the picture and you can finally get your hands on her. I hope she rejects you like you rejected me." Grace snarled before storming from the shed.

….

Marcus stood rubbing his face as he watched the cloud of dust billow down the drive.

"Where'd Grace go?" Stevie calls walking towards him with Xander snuggled into her chest.

Looking at her he sees the fatigue on her face and the dark circles under her sad eyes.

Glancing back at the drive he replies. "She just needed some advice that's all."

"Oh I thought she'd come to visit."

Smiling at her he asks. "Why do you feel like visitors?"

"No not really but I guessed if she was here I should be sociable." Stevie answered quietly.

"Right." He replies.

Her expression changes dramatically.

"What?" He asks.

"Just the way you said right." She offers as her voice trails away.

Marcus takes a moment to register.

"Stevie we're brothers there is bound to be similarities."

"Yeah I know it's just….." She doesn't finish as she turns back to the house.

"Stevie!" He calls.

She turns back.

His heart jolts.

Tears stream down her face.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you."

"Yeah I know." She replies softly readjusting her arms around her baby.

…

 _ **Kilarney …Alex's grave….**_

Marcus climbs up the small hill and taking his hat off stands at his brother's grave.

Silently he gathers his thoughts

He inhales, his chin quivers and his tears fall. "You weren't supposed to leave her mate….. I don't know what to do to help….. She's struggling ….real….really struggling…..she's in trouble Alex."

Unable to speak further Marcus squats down beside the grave and gives into his grief.

Time passes and he feels a hand on his shoulder.

Standing he looks around.

No one is there.

Puzzled he descends the hill and drives back to the house.

…

 _ **Drover's Run…**_

Regan pulls the handbrake on and climbs from the cab.

Taylor, Grace and Moira appear at the gate full of smiles.

Tess and Nick alight from the car and accept their greetings.

…

"It's so good to have you back." Moira states.

"How's she doing?" Nick asks.

Moira shakes her head sadly. "Not good at all."

"Ok we'll be back in a while." Nick replies.

…..

"Do you want to leave Claire with us?" Taylor asks.

"No thanks she's just fallen asleep plus Stevie will want to see her." Tess responds.

"Tess she's changed. Don't be surprised if she doesn't want to hold Claire." Moira explains.

"And don't expect to hold the baby." Grace adds.

"What does he sleep a lot?" Nick asks.

Regan shakes her head and replies. "No she doesn't let anyone else touch him. Ever."

…..

 _ **The road between Kilarney and Drover's Run…**_

"We should have come home sooner Nick." Tess comments.

"If I could have I would have Tess you know that." Nick answers sadly.

"She wouldn't take my calls after we said we couldn't be home for the funeral." Tess offers a breath away from tears.

Reaching over he takes her hand and replies sadly. "Everything will be fine once she's sees us Tess you know it will."

She squeezes his hand and wonders if all will be as he expects.


	2. Chapter 2 No welcome here

_**Kilarney…..**_

Xander's hungry cries flood the room.

Exhausted still Stevie rouses but her eyes remain closed.

"Stay there Cowgirl I'll go."

Her eyes fly open.

Sitting up she blinks against the bright sunlight streaming through the window.

Xander's cries stop.

"Alex?" She calls stunned by what she sees.

"No Stevie." Nick responds lifting the baby into his arms as he turns to face her.

…

Flinging back the blanket she storms towards him taking the baby from his arms.

She glares at him.

"Why are you here and what in the hell are you doing in my bedroom?" She snaps.

"We came to see you and as you were asleep I thought I'd introduce myself to the little fellow." Nick replies shocked by her appearance and attitude.

"We needed you before we don't need you now." She growls walking away from him.

Nick chooses his words carefully. "Tess has the kettle on would you like a cuppa?"

"What I want is for you to get out of my home." She retorts.

"Kilarney is my home too." He tells her raising his voice.

'Get out!" She yells.

The baby cries.

He walks from the room.

…

Tess meets him on the stairs his face dark, his tears free flowing.

"What's happened?" She asks.

He storms passed without comment.

She's torn, should she follow him or find Stevie.

….

Stevie paces in a manic fashion before finally settling in the large arm chair.

The baby fusses but doesn't attach.

A knock at her door elicits. "Go away."

The door opens.

Tess steps into the room.

Stevie glares at her and then looks back at the baby.

He continues to fuss.

Tess can't believe how thin and worn out Stevie looks.

Her skin pale, eyes sunken and the dark circles under them make her look almost spooky.

…

Tess doesn't say a word but walks across the room and sits on the arm of the chair.

Tears stream down her cheeks but she resists the urge to move, speak or sniff.

Stevie sits still, her baby held tightly to her chest.

Slowly she looks up at Tess.

Her face crumbles.

"He's gone Tess ,my Cowboy's gone." She sobs.

"Just as well he left a gorgeous piece of himself then isn't it?" Tess manages to say despite the huge lump in her throat.

…

Stevie holds onto her baby as Tess leans across and kisses her head.

"I'm…. so sorry…. We….. came as quickly….. as we could." Tess offers in between sobs.

Stevie nods slowly, her grief raw and renewed.

"Nick!" Tess calls.

He opens the door and moves towards them.

….

Tess stands and ever so gently takes the baby from Stevie.

Nick steps closer and taking Stevie's hand pulls her to her feet.

Wrapping his arms around her he whispers. "I feel like my heart has been cut in half Stevie. How am I supposed to go on without the boofhead?"

She breaks.

He's taken aback by how tightly she hugs into him.

Her cries so gut wrenching that they draw a sadness so profound from somewhere deep in his soul he feels every sad moment in his life twist around his heart.

…..


	3. Chapter 3 My Brothers Keeper

_**Drover's Run…**_

Moira loads the last of Tess and Nick's gear into the Ute and slams the tailgate shut.

"I'll be back as soon as possible can you keep an eye on dinner?" Moira asks.

"Don't worry about a thing Moira we'll sort it all out." Grace responds.

Moira nods and moves into the car.

Closing the door she heads for Kilarney.

….

Walking back to the house Taylor says. "It's good that they're staying with her."

"Yeah maybe. "Grace remarks.

"What? Don't you think it's a good idea?" Regan asks.

'Well nothing else has worked what makes you think they can help?" Grace responds.

"Yes but this is Alex's brother and Tess. Stevie knows them so well and they know her too." Regan argues.

"We know her really well and we couldn't help maybe they'll make it worse." Grace answers.

"How could it possibly be any worse?" Regan comments the sadness clear in her voice.

….

 _ **Kilarney…Stevie and Alex's room.**_

Stevie was still fast asleep.

Nick had checked on her several times during the afternoon and was thrilled she was resting peacefully.

Tess had convinced Stevie after much resistance to express some milk with the promise Tess would only feed Xander once if he woke and would wake Stevie for the second feed.

Tess had told a little white lie and had fed the baby the breast milk when he woke after three hours but then she'd topped him up with some boiled water two hours later.

Stevie had been asleep for almost six hours when Xander finally woke.

…

Nick smiled as he walked up the stairs carefully cradling his brother's son safely in his arms.

Softly he knocked at the door and opening it had walked in.

Stevie was flat on her back with one arm resting under her head and the other hand spread flat on her belly.

Her curls were an unruly mess across the pillow.

Nick heart shifted as he looked down at her.

Even though she was thin and pale she was a beauty.

Inhaling deeply his eyes pricked with tears.

Alex had told him once about how he loved watching her sleep.

A lump the size of a golf ball lodged in his throat and he tried desperately to swallow it.

Opening her eyes she blinked and focused on his face.

'Nick are you alright? Is everything alright?" She asked sleepily.

Despite the tears now spilling down his cheeks he nods and sits on the bed beside her.

…

His voice raw and filled with sadness sounds funny as he replies. "He's hungry and he wants his Mummy."

She sits up and takes the baby from him alarmed by Nick's reaction.

Reaching over Nick hands her the small bunny rug and helps to place it across her shoulder to shield his view of her as she feeds.

Stevie is uncomfortable with his presence but realizes he isn't going anywhere.

She discreetly attaches the baby then looking at Nick asks for the time.

"Oh my god he slept all afternoon!" She states.

Nick nods and replies honestly. "He had the milk and a little bit of water an hour or so later but yeah he slept for ages. Must have known his Mummy needed a break."

…

She studies his face and asks. "Your turn to be the sook is it?"

With a quick smile he wipes the tears of his face and replies. "I guess it is. I've had loads of moments like this."

"Me too."

"I bet."

She gives him a weak smile and nods.

"So you look heaps better Stevie."

"I mustn't look too good I made you cry." She teases.

He wonders if he should tell her the truth and is surprised when she comments. "You knew him so well Nick and together we knew him better than anyone. Please don't stop yourself from talking about him. I need to talk about him."

Again he inhales and exhales and then he tells her about watching her sleep.

Tears roll down her cheeks and in between sniffles she thanks him for sharing something so profoundly beautiful with her.

…..

"Are you going to stay here or go back to Drover's Run Stevie?"

Searching his face she replies. "I really want to stay here Nick because he's everywhere. Even our pillows smell like him. I need that now I need to feel his closeness."

Unable to speak Nick nods.

She continues. "He left a video recording Nick. Said I need to rear our boy where ever I see fit. For now that's here. Plus now that you and Tess are back you'll be on Drover's and you won't want me in the way."

Nick questions her about the video.

She answers honestly and offers to show him if he'd like to see it although she tells him it is heartbreaking.

Gaining control of his emotions Nick responds. "Can I tell you want I'd like you to do?"

"You can but it doesn't mean I'll listen." She replies.

He smiles at her and nods.

…..

"I have no control over what you do Stevie but I have asked Tess if for now we can live here with you until you find your feet. Alex loved Kilarney more than I did but we grew up here together and I know before …when he was in Argentina he talked none stop about the little fella exploring Kilarney like we did. I want to show him all of our favourite places and tell him all about the mischief we got up to. He can't learn all of that if he's living on Drover's Run." Nick explains.

She remains silent.

He's not sure what she's thinking or what she'll say.

Reaching over she takes his hand and softly kisses the palm before resting it against her cheek.

His heart twists around in his chest.

…

Lifting her face to him her eyes look deep into his soul as she replies. "You may not look like him but you are so much like him Nick and I know for a fact that if he was in your shoes he'd want to do exactly the same thing and I would be thrilled and honoured if you would do that for us."

Nick smiles at her and leaning forward plants a soft kiss on her head. "I think you deserve a hot chocolate Stevie."

"Do I deserve marshmallows as well?" She jokes.

"Whatever you want if it's within my power it's yours." He answers as he nears the door.

"Great answer." She calls over to him.

As he closes the door he hears a voice say. "Very nice."

He glances to the left and then the right.

No-one is there.

Frowning he shakes his head as he moves downstairs.

…

Stevie smiles and almost feels good.

She feels rested, really rested.

Looking down at her baby she asks. "Did you hear that Xander? Uncle Nick is going to show you all of Daddy's favourite places from when he was growing up. Daddy will be so happy about that."

A calmness washes over her and she feels it.

Feels his presence here in their room.

"Daddy's watching out for us Xander I just know he is. We're not alone Bub. Your Daddy and Uncle Nick were the best of friends and he's come back to help us all heal." Stevie soothes as she rubs the baby's head.


	4. Chapter 4 A Special Visitor

_**Drover's Run ….One month later….**_

The arrival of Tess and Nick had shifted Stevie's sorrow but not erased it completely.

Only time would allow her to learn to live with her loss.

Slowly and tenderly they had helped steer her back to strength.

She was still extremely protective of the baby but that was also normal.

These days she actually let others hold him.

They'd all become accustomed to her hovering nearby and that was ok too.

She needed time and they were all willing to give her space and let her do things in her own time as she'd always done.

Nick and Tess had work to do on Drover's Run so Stevie and the baby had come along for the day.

….

"You all saddled up?" Nick asks as Grace walks in the back door.

"Yeah we are but Taylor's crook so we're a rider down." Grace replies.

"Tess can come with you I'll mind Claire I've got the accounts to do." Nick replies.

Stevie sits feeding Xander with Tess close beside her.

"They were already counting me Nick remember I told you Moira is minding Claire." Tess replies.

"Oh is that today I thought that was next week."

"Yes next week as well." Tess agrees.

Xander has fallen asleep and Stevie is holding him and watching him sleep.

…

"What about you Stevie?" Nick asks.

Her head snaps up and she responds. "No I can't leave the baby."

"It's only for an hour Stevie and we could really use your help." Regan encourages.

Stevie shakes her head slowly.

'What about if we put him in the car and I follow you." Nick suggests.

"Well that's just silly and anyway you said you have accounts to do."" Stevie remarks.

"The mob is more important than the accounts at this point." Nick replies.

….

"Come on Stevie it'll be fun. You haven't ridden in months." Tess pushes.

Stevie frowns and looks around at the expectant faces.

"Which paddock?"

Grace answers.

"Should only take forty minutes out and back." Stevie states.

"Less if we leave Regan behind." Grace jokes.

Stevie smiles and quips. "If you're as good as you think you are Kingston, Regan shouldn't be too much of a handicap."

"Hey I'm standing right here you know." Regan comments.

They all laugh.

…..

"Go on Stevie it'll be good for you. Load the little guy into the capsule and put him in the car." Nick suggest.

Stevie shakes her head.

The girls are all disappointed but don't verbalise it.

"No he's already asleep and full to the brim I'm sure I can trust you to look after him here for an hour." Stevie tells Nick.

"I'll guard him with my life Stevie." Nick responds.

Stevie smiles at him and nods knowing it to be the truth.

….

Ten minutes later a gaggle of women walk out the gate and over to the horse yard.

Stevie looks at Tess and remarks. "You planned this didn't you?"

Tess grins at her and replies." No what makes you think that?"

"What the fact that Sherpa is here and saddled is coincidence?" Stevie answers with a smile on her face.

As they near the yards Stevie frowns wondering who is holding her horse.

…

"Oh my goodness Kate! What are you doing here?' Stevie exclaims wrapping her arms around her friend.

"I heard there was going to be some fancy riding being done and I didn't want to miss the spectacle." Kate teases.

Stevie laughs and quips. "I haven't ridden in months Kate you may just witness a spectacular crash."

Kate laughs and hugs her again.

"I've kept all your letters Kate they give me great comfort." Stevie says.

"As long as we talk about him Stevie he isn't really gone." Kate states.

Tearfully Stevie smiles and wipes her cheeks." Maybe I should call you Fred then?'

Kate laughs and questions. "Maybe? Maybe not!"

Stevie nods and takes the reins from Kate. "It's going to be a good day."

"Well I'm here of course it is." Kate chuckles.

Stevie nudges her.

…..

Up on top of Sherpa Stevie waits for the girls to mount up.

The chatter seeps into her soul and even though her sadness is with her constantly she feels happy too.

"Righto you lot less chatter and more work." Stevie orders.

Kate salutes her and replies. "Yes boss."

In a united bunch they ride out.

…..

As the five horses and riders move up over the hill Nick walks slowly across the yard and stands at the gate.

Inhaling deeply he exhales and whispers. "Just baby steps Alex but we've got your Cowgirl back in the saddle. It's a good day."

His phone rings in his pocket.

Fumbling to answer it the ringing stops.

Glancing at the screen he notes it was Marcus.

He pushes redial.

"Marcus! It's Nick! Sorry I missed your call. What's up? No just then …No it says Marcus and you're the only Marcus I know….So you didn't ring? …Well that's odd… Yeah….What's that? Yes she did they just left….She left him with me….Yeah it is a relief, she loves riding.. It's only a small step but it's something… That's right I thought the same thing, he'd be really happy she's riding again…. Yep me too. Right we'll be home around four….Ok see you then. Bye."

Hanging up Nick looks at his phone, shakes his head and walks back towards the house.

…..

 **Four chapters and not many reviews? Should I continue this one? kepc**


	5. Chapter 5 Dave Brewer

_**Drover's Run …Four weeks later…..**_

"Did Tess say when they're coming back here to live?" Taylor asks.

Grace shakes her head and replies. "No they're just taking it one day at a time."

"She looks so much better." Taylor offers.

"Tess said she's sleeping more and actually letting Moira help a little." Regan comments.

….

"Dave's due in today." Grace reminds them all.

"He didn't take it very well ." Regan states.

"They were really good mates." Taylor suggests.

"Yeah they are. Were." Regan agrees.

….

 _ **Kilarney…..**_

Stevie stands with a sleeping Xander held lovingly to her chest.

Her world still in turmoil but her tough exterior back in place.

Constantly she's asked how she is and everyone tries to tell her she'll have better days as time passes.

They don't know how she feels.

They don't understand what she shared with him or the extent to which she feels his loss.

The soft downy hair of their son feels velvety against her face.

Alex never got to feel that.

See their creation or hold him.

She inhales deeply holding back the torrent of emotions just barely contained under the surface.

…..

Her thoughts turn to Claire, she misses her.

Then she thinks about Alex's struggle as he tried to come to terms with her death.

Now she fully understood.

He learned to smile ,love and laugh again and she knows one day she will too but for now she holds her sorrow tightly to herself.

She wonders if he's with Claire now and hopes he is.

…..

The dark empty hole in her heart throbs in anguish.

If she didn't wake up tomorrow she couldn't care less, she just wants to be with him, hear his voice, feel his arms around her and inhale the mixture of aftershave ,sweat and him.

Xander moves in her arms and she feels ashamed for allowing herself to think of leaving him.

No, Alex will have to wait, Xander needs her and she has to stay no matter how much it hurts.

A warmth and peacefulness so profound fills her as the baby moves again.

"Daddy's here little man I can feel him. He's come to visit us again." Stevie whispers.

…

"Stevie!" Marcus calls as he knocks on her door.

"It's open Marcus come in." She replies feeling annoyed that he's intruded on her time with Alex.

"Dave's just pulled in. I thought you'd like to know. Are you alright?"

"Yes I'm fine Marcus." She tells him.

His expression is odd.

"What?"

"I don't know you just kind of look different." He answers.

"It's called sleep Marcus it does wonders." Stevie responds.

Marcus nods.

"Would you like me to hold the little fella?" Marcus asks.

"No its ok he's asleep I was just enjoying holding him." Stevie replies placing the little boy into the cot.

….

Dave sits in his car for a few minutes gathering his thoughts.

Despite the fact he's been a widower he doesn't know what to say.

On the long drive here he'd rehearsed what he'd say and do but it all seems so inadequate now.

By the time he opens the door she's already walking down the path towards him.

…

"Howdy!" He calls with an attempt at a smile.

Her face crumbles and she runs the last few steps.

He opens his arms.

Unable to speak he just lets his grief spill out.

He'd cried when the phone call came all those months ago but had held everything in up until now.

…

She doesn't utter a word but hugs in tightly around his waist.

Her sobs and tears muffled by his chest.

He burrows his face into the side of her head and squeezes his arms around her.

Back on the step Marcus watches for a minute but moves back inside the house feeling like an intruder.

….

"I want to die too Dave." She finally admits.

He readjusts his arms around her and whispers. "I know you do."

She holds onto him but looks into his eyes.

"You do?' She questions.

He nods.

"Your wife." She states.

"Yeah I just didn't want to go on after she died. Every night when I went to bed I hoped I wouldn't wake up in the morning." He confesses.

Hugging back into his chest she says "Thank you."

"For what?" He asks.

"You know how I feel don't you? No one else understands but you do. I keep telling them I'm ok but I'm not. How can I be? They want me to be ok but I'm not ready so I'm pretending that I am. We were supposed to grow old together Dave. We'd planned to have more children. He didn't even get to meet our first baby. " She answers softly.

…

"You feel cheated." Dave states.

She looks up at him. "Yes I do and it's not fair. I waited for so long for him. I've never loved anyone like I love him."

"I know what you mean and you will never get over his loss Stevie but you will learn to live with it and even though you can't imagine it now you will fall in love again. It won't be the same but it will still be wonderful I promise." Dave advises.

"You haven't had much luck." She replies as she wipes the tears off her cheeks.

"No I haven't but I keep trying. Any new talent in the area?" He jokes.

She laughs and quips. "Only a soppy widow."

He smiles at her and responds. "Nah you're not my type."

"What is your type? You've dated Tess, Kate and Regan and they are very different women." Stevie remarks.

"I'm not sure but I'll let you know as soon as I work it out." He answers grinning at her.

She quickly hugs his waist again and says. "It's so good to see you Dave."

"It's good to see you too. Now as I'm a visitor I'm hoping you have a cuppa and scones ready for me?"

She laughs and turning back towards the house says. "Yes we do and the guest room is all aired and ready for you as well. Once you've had a cuppa I might introduce you to our baby."

"Please tell me he looks like you? " Dave questions as he follows her towards the house.

"No he's all Alex."

"Well I guess that means he's a big boofhead then?" Dave teases.

Stevie laughs and quips. "You want scones and you're calling my baby a boofhead not a clever move Dave."

They enjoy the joke as they move inside.

…..

 _ **Drover's Run….**_

Marcus arrives to pick Grace up for dinner at the pub.

In the past two weeks they'd been out together four times.

It took time for her anger to dissipate and for her to realize Marcus was genuinely just trying to help Stevie get through her grieving without a hidden agenda.

Grace had apologized for the slap and her remark about Marcus wanting Stevie for himself.

He admitted her words had hurt him deeply but grinned when he mention her jealousy and her slapping of his face.

"Don't flatter yourself Marcus it was grief and concern for Stevie." Grace remarked.

"Yeah I knew that." He replied smirking at her.

She studied his face then pushed him in the side with her elbow.

He pushed her back.

They laughed and began again.

….

Marcus calls hello as he walks through the back porch.

"In here!" Nick calls.

"Where are the girls?" Marcus questions.

"They're not back yet. Do you want a tea or a coffee?"

"A beer would be better." Marcus replies.

"Ok I'll have one too." Nick replies walking over to the fridge.

…

"Dave arrived he's a really nice bloke isn't he?" Marcus comments as he cracks open his beer.

"Mm." Nick responds.

"What you don't like him?"

"I don't not like him and he is a good guy it's just that Tess was engaged to him."

'Oh yeah forgot about that. He's staying for a couple of days isn't he?" Marcus states.

"He's actually staying with us for a fortnight. Since Ingrid moved on we need a vet so the Farmers council contacted him and asked him to come back." Nick explains.

…..

Marcus sips his beer then placing the can on the table offers. "Alex liked him."

Nick face remains without emotion as he thinks about an answer. "He's his best mate."

"Maybe you need to let the Tess thing go and embrace the Alex connection." Marcus states.

"Did I ask for your advice?" Nick growls.

Marcus grins at him.

Nick nods and replies. "Sorry you are right. Dave being around will be great for Stevie she's good friends with him too."

"Yeah I felt like the third wheel so that's why I'm here a bit earlier." Marcus comments.

"We might stay for dinner so they can have time to talk." Nick suggests.

"Whose cooking? "Marcus asks.

"You!" Nick replies.

"Me ? I'm a visitor! Well come on then if you give me a hand maybe Grace will want to stay here instead of going to the pub because they've had a long day." Marcus offers.

…

Outside the girls have arrived back.

After unsaddling and letting the horses go they all walk towards the house.

"Car coming!" Tess states.

"Don't know the car." Regan adds.

"It's Father Dan." Taylor exclaims.

"Who's Father Dan?" Tess questions.

Grace hasn't moved or spoken.

…

Dan opens the car door and unfolds himself from the cab.

He's dressed in jeans, boots and a t-shirt.

"Afternoon ladies." Dan offers with a bright smile on his face.

"You look different in civvies'." Taylor remarks.

He looks at Taylor then back to Grace and replies. "I've left the priesthood so this is how I dress these days. Hello Grace it's so good to see you again."

Regan, Taylor and Tess all look at Grace.

She stands stunned to silence.

…


	6. Chapter 6 Freinds

_**Kilarney… Three months later…**_

Stevie walks outside with Xander in his stroller and sits on the veranda.

Nick walks towards the house and glances at his watch.

"He's late!" He calls to Stevie.

With a bright smile on her face she replies. "He's over on Drover's preg testing a mob. He rang before and said he was on his way."

….

Nick sits down beside her and chats to Xander.

The little boys face lights up as he makes noises.

Nick chuckles and says. "He gets more like Alex every day and that grin of his, even though he's still gummy it's his smile isn't it?"

"He's got teeth!" Stevie replies indignantly.

Nick laughs and asks "Where?"

"Put your finger in his mouth and you'll soon find out."

Nick gently puts his finger in the baby's mouth and runs it across his gums. "Wow there's three or four in there. Only just poking through but they're there."

"There's eight all together at various heights." Stevie announces proudly.

"But he hasn't been grumpy at all! When Claire was cutting her teeth it was a nightmare." Nick comments.

"He's tough like his Daddy aren't you? " Stevie answers Nick while looking at Xander.

…

Nick smiles to himself happy that they can talk about Alex without tears and sadness.

It has taken months but they're all finally dealing with his loss.

Every Friday since his return Dave has arrived at five o'clock and sat for an hour with Stevie as they share a beer.

In the first month or so everyone had let the two sit alone as it was beneficial to Stevie to speak privately with Dave but as the time rolled on different people had joined them.

These days it had become quite a social gathering.

….

"I hear a car." Nick announces.

"A few cars." Stevie ads.

"Is this a private party or can anyone join in?" Regan asks as she joins them on the veranda.

"Depends on if you brought your own beer." Stevie replies.

Regan holds up two stubbies of beer. "Just two because I'm the designated driver today."

Taylor and Grace join them next followed by Dave.

"Howdy Doodie how was your day?" He asks Stevie.

"We had a great day thanks. Tess and I went shopping and had lunch at the pub. How about you?" She replies.

"Well I've had my arm up cow's bums all afternoon but the company was good. So a pretty good day here as well." Dave replies with a goofy smile on his face.

"So are they all pregnant?" Nick asks.

Dave, Regan, Grace and Taylor are crowded around the pram talking to Xander when Dave quips. "Just the cows are, the girls didn't succumb to my charms and yet I used all my best lines."

The girls heckle him and he laughs loudly.

Nick and Stevie enjoy his humour too.

"Where's Tess? Is she joining us today?" Taylor asks.

"I'm right here and I brought my own beer." Tess answers as she walks out the door following Claire.

The little girl climbs straight onto Nick lap with his help and snuggles into him.

"Don't let her fall asleep Nick it's almost dinner time." Tess cautions.

"Did you bring a beer for me too?" Nick asks Tess.

She holds up four stubbies.

"Wifey you're the best." He responds.

"I know." Tess quips.

….

The hour passes quickly and the air turns chilly.

Tess asks everyone to stay for dinner and they all agree and one by one head inside.

Taylor takes Xander inside and Claire follows them.

Marcus had arrived late and had a quick beer before heading upstairs for a shower.

…

Dave and Stevie are left sitting alone as the last of the group go indoors.

Looking serious Dave asks. "Did you really have a good day Stevie?"

She gives him a genuine smile and replies. "I did Dave I really did. I feel like its ok to smile and enjoy myself again. "

"Good girl I'm proud of you." Dave states.

"Me too." She quips.

"Beers almost gone." Dave announces looking at his stubby.

She looks at hers too and replies. "Enough left though."

He nods and holds his stubby up to her. "Too Alex."

"To Alex." She repeats.

They drink the remains of their bottles.

Dave stands up.

She does too.

He's about to walk in the door and she calls. "Dave!"

"Yeah."

"Could I ask you for a really big favour?"

"Yeah of course you can Stevie how can I help?"

"I just need a hug." She states.

"Yeah of course you can have a hug, I'm brilliant at hugs." He replies smiling at her.

She hugs into him and says. "You were such a good friend to Alex and I know he'd be so grateful that you're such a good friend to me and Xander."

He kisses the top of her head and replies. "You have to be a good friend to have good friends Stevie and you make being your friend so easy. Come on I can smell food."

She chuckles as she follows him inside and in her best man's voice quips. "Bloody hell Brewer are you ever not hungry?"

"Only when I'm asleep." He replies and they both laugh.


	7. Chapter 7 Birthday Boy

_**Kilarney…**_

Stevie moves around the kitchen making sure the last of the food is ready.

She glances up as the back door opens and Moira walks in with a large platter in her hands.

"Here we go Stevie one homemade birthday cake for a big one year old boy." Moira announces.

Stevie smiles and leans in to look at the cake." Oh Moira you've done a great job he'll love it!"

"I was unsure if I should put a tractor, dog or a horse on the top because he loves them all so much." Moira responds.

…

Stevie smiles at her friend and responds. "He's a farm boy through and through isn't he?"

"It's in his blood." Moira answers

"Yes it is." Stevie replies wistfully her thoughts clearly on Alex.

"Not today Stevie you can be sad tomorrow but not today." Moira encourages.

Feeling the sting of tears in her eyes Stevie nods, inhales, grins and pushes away her grief.

…..

The door opens and Nick arrives with an excited Xander in his arms.

"What do you think of his new hat Stevie?" Nick asks holding onto the large Akubra he's wrestling Xander for.

Stevie chuckles and answers. "I think he needs to grow a bit more before it fits Uncle Nick."

Nick laughs and gives up on holding it onto his nephews head and concedes. "Yeah he just wants to chew on it anyway."

Stevie plays boo with the hat for a minute with Xander and the little boy cackles at her while held securely in his uncles arms.

….

Nick sits the baby on the floor and stands talking to Moira and Stevie.

"Hidey Ho any birthday boys here today?" Dave calls as he knocks at the kitchen door.

"Just one beautiful big boy." Stevie calls back.

Dave greets everyone as he holds a large cardboard box with a blue ribbon wrapped around it.

"More presents Xander you're a lucky boy." Moira exclaims.

Dave moves across the floor and squats down beside Xander.

Stevie joins them.

Dave places the box on the floor and stands Xander up between his open legs.

….

"What's in here little man?" Dave offers with an excited lilt to his voice.

A soft whimpering causes Stevie to look at Dave. "You didn't?"

"I might have." Dave answers grinning at her.

"I thought we agreed he was too little." Stevie questions still smiling but looking a little bit cross.

"No you said he was too little. I disagreed, remember." Dave responds giving her a cute smile.

She shakes her head at him but watches as Xander scrambles to grab the ribbon.

A tiny bark stops Xander in his tracks.

He looks at the box as Dave opens the lid.

…..

They all watch as Xander looks inside the box.

On strong little legs he bounces up and down and squeals at the contents.

Reaching forward he almost topples into the box.

Dave gently lifts him back and with his other hand reaches in and pulls out the fluffy bundle.

"Oh Dave he's perfect." Stevie gushes.

"Yes she is." Dave answers without looking at Stevie.

….

"Gentle Xander gentle." Dave coos.

Xander taps the puppy roughly on the head.

"No gentle." Dave remarks firmly.

Xander stops.

Dave lest himself flop onto his backside taking Xander and the pup with him.

Manoeuvring Xander around Dave sits him between his legs and places the puppy on Xander's lap.

Taking the baby's hand Dave encourages. "Gentle Xander gentle."

…

Stevie sits beside them and reaches over to pat the pup.

"What's her name?"

"Her papers say My Fawny's Hope but you can call her whatever you want." Dave replies.

Leaning over Dave's outstretched leg she pats the pup and asks. "What about Hope? Do you think that would suit her?"

…..

"We had a Scotch Collie when we were kids." Nick states.

"Tri coloured and named Bessy." Dave replies.

Nick smiles at him and remarks. "Alex told you about her."

Dave nods and replies. "Yes when Stevie lost Diesel we were talking about how close you can get to your pets. He said she went everywhere with the two of you. On all of your adventures."

Nick nods and is touched that Dave thought to bring that joy into Xander's life.

Stevie is busy with Xander and the pup but listens and takes on board all that is discussed.

…..

 _ **Later in the day…**_

The party has been a great success and the little boy has been spoilt rotten in the nicest possible way.

Presents arrived from all over the district.

The arrival of Grace with Dan had caused a bit of tension earlier on in the day as Marcus wasn't expecting them.

…..

Stevie had pulled him to one side and explained. "I'm sorry Marcus I didn't know they were coming either. Grace sent back an inability to attend."

"I'm alright Stevie and I've moved passed her but I just wasn't ready to see them together and especially like she is." Marcus explained.

Stevie grinned at him and asked. "You mean pregnant?"

"Well yeah I mean he leaves the priesthood comes back here and wrecks my relationship and then in the next breath she's pregnant and they're not even married." Marcus states.

"Are you angry at him or jealous of what they have?"

Marcus stands with one hand on his hip and looks thoughtful.

The stance isn't lost on Stevie.

It's an Alex move.

…

"I think I'm jealous of what they have." Marcus admits.

"Well don't be, it will happen when you least expect it Marcus so stop pushing it." Stevie cautions.

He smiles at her and quips." We could have another dance and you could let me kiss you this time?"

She flicks him in the arm and throwing her head back, laughs and replies. "I'm still a fish and chip on the back of a Ute kinda girl Marcus but my son isn't going to have siblings that are his cousins so you can get those thoughts right out of your head."

He laughs and quips. "Yeah it could get a bit messy couldn't it? "

"Yes it could and we aren't going there ok?" She says.

Placing his arm across her shoulder they walk back to the others.

"Ok." He agrees.

…..

As the sun begins to set the party goers have all left.

Only Tess, Nick, Marcus, Dave, Stevie and Kate remain.

Kicking her heels off Kate sighs and says. "I have no idea why I wore heels I'd much prefer work boots."

"Me too." Stevie agrees.

"You look nice in heels Stevie." Dave remarks.

They all look at him.

"What? She does." He defends.

Stevie grins at him.

….

"Do you need a foot massage?" Marcus asks looking at Kate.

"If my feet were clean I'd say yes but no thanks." Kate replies.

Marcus laughs and grabbing her stocking foot responds. "I work on a farm Kate I've picked up dirtier things than your foot."

"I bet you have." Stevie teases.

He chuckles and retorts. "I wasn't talking about women."

"Oh sorry I misunderstood." Stevie quips.

He shakes his head at her and concentrates on Kate's foot.

"Oh my god Marcus you have great hands that is so good." Kate gushes.

They all laugh when Nick asks. "Do you want us to give you some privacy?"

Kate blushes but laughs.

Marcus winks at her.

…

Inhaling Stevie states. "Back to Drover's Tess I'm going to miss you."

Tess smiles at her friend and replies. "You've found your feet Stevie and it's time we gave you space."

"Yeah I know but I've grown so used to you, Nick and Claire living here it's going to feel weird not having you all around." Stevie replies.

"Dave's just down the road, Marcus is here and now with your new overseer I'm sure you'll have plenty of people to keep you company." Nick responds.

Stevie smiles at Kate and comments. "I can't believe you've agreed to come and help us Kate I've missed you."

"I've missed all of you too. I can't wait to meet the challenges of a huge property like this." Kate replies.

"I can help you with finding your way." Marcus offers.

Kate looks at him and suggests. "I'd like that Marcus."

Stevie smirks as Marcus's eyes flick across to her.

She raises an eyebrow.

He winks at her.

…..

"I think this little man has run out of steam." Dave comments.

"He's had a bit day." Nick remarks watching his nephew sleeping in Dave's arms.

Stevie stands up and makes to take him from Dave.

"I'll carry him for you." Dave remarks.

"Back in a minute." Stevie tells the others.

….

 _ **Upstairs…Xander's room…**_

Stevie pulls the little boy's jeans off as Dave gently cradles him.

Laying him into his cot the pair stand looking at him.

"He is the imagine of Alex isn't he." Dave remarks.

Stevie leans over and pulls the blanket up over her son.

…..

Her eyes are glassy when she looks up at Dave.

"Please don't cry now Stevie it's been such a good day." Dave suggests.

She gives him a small smile, inhales and nods.

"Ok but I need a hug. " She answers.

A quick grin lights his eyes.

"Right big hug coming up." He jokes as he stretches his body as if warming up for an athletic meeting.

She laughs as he grabs her and hugs her tightly.

They stand for what feels like ages.

His arms shift and pull her closer.

She snuggles in.

….

Moving her hand to his chest she pushes back a little and looks up at him.

Before either know what is happening a kiss so soft and sensual is shared.

Time ticks over.

…..

Like a rabbit caught in the headlights of a car Dave steps away from her.

"Oh god Stevie I'm so sorry." He exclaims.

She looks at him trying to find words and leads with. "I wasn't expecting that."

"I didn't plan it and I'm sorry." He replies sounding distressed.

"Sorry you didn't plan it or sorry it happened." She asks.

He doesn't reply but turns and walks from the room.

…


	8. Chapter 8 Betrayal

_**Kilarney…**_

Friday night had been and gone with only a message from Dave saying he was caught up and couldn't have his usual beer with Stevie.

Despite the initial surprise at his absence no one thought anymore of it.

Stevie on the other hand thought of nothing else.

After Xander's first birthday party Dave had avoided her like she had the plague.

She was baffled by the kiss they'd shared but also by Dave reaction.

She thought they were friends, good friends, he should be able to talk to her about this.

… _ **..**_

 _ **Drover's Run...**_

"Arghh I'm beat." Tess exclaims as she slumps down onto the chair.

Moira and Taylor join her as Regan retrieves four beers from the fridge.

"Ta." Tess offers looking up at Regan.

"What time is Patrick picking you up?" Tess asks Taylor.

"Six." She replies cracking the seal on her beer.

…..

"What do you reckon is going on with Dave?" Taylor asks.

"Meaning?" Moira questions.

"Well the night of Xander's birthday was odd don't you think? I mean everything was happy, he takes Xander upstairs and when he arrived back he was all sulky and quiet." Taylor explains.

"Maybe he'd had too much to drink." Moira offers trying to steer the conversation in a different direction.

…..

Tess looks at Moira and questions. "You don't really think that do you?"

"Whatever we think it's none of our business." Moira retorts.

"You think he likes her." Regan states.

"She likes him too." Taylor ads.

"They're friends! Of course they like each other." Tess defends.

"No like Stevie and Alex's friendship." Taylor pushes.

"It's too soon and she's not his type." Tess snaps.

The three women study her face.

…

Moira reaches over and touches Tess's arm. "Tess we have no right to say what is or isn't too soon or right for either one of them. "

Tess glares at her and slowly her face softens. "Yes I know that but it's only been a year and it's been so very hard for her. I can't bear the thought of her being hurt again Moira."

Moira smiles at Tess and rubbing her arm replies. "I know how you feel Tess we all do. Dave's a good guy and he would never do anything to hurt her. "

"Well not intentionally anyway." Regan ads.

The conversation stalls as they all think about the possibility of a fledgling romance between their friends.

Gossip will spread like wildfire.

Tess wonders how Nick will react.

…

 _ **Kilarney...**_

"Marcus are you sure you're right to mind Xander I'll only be an hour or so." Stevie asks.

"Yep not a problem he's asleep anyway so it's all good." Marcus replies.

A knock on the back door draws Stevie to it. "Kate! How are you?'

"Good thanks Stevie I thought I'd come down and see if you'd like a visitor for a while. Dave's been like a bear with a sore head all week so he's not very good company." Kate offers walking inside.

"Sounds great but I'm just about to go out but I'll be back in an hour if you wouldn't mind hanging around with Marcus." Stevie suggest.

"Oh no he doesn't have to babysit me I'll head back." Kate offers a little too quickly.

A slow smile slips across Stevie's face as she responds. "You'd be doing me a favour Kate. Marcus is babysitting Xander for me."

"Hey I'm good with him and you are hardly a baby." Marcus defends.

Kate smiles at the comment.

"Yes you are but he's teething and Kate can be your backup." Stevie replies.

"So where are you going anyway?" Marcus asks.

"Just out, I'll see you in an hour or so." Stevie responds.

….

 _ **Kilarneys old homestead…**_

Steam spills from the room as Dave opens the shower door.

With his towel around his waist he moves towards the back door.

"The things ya see when you don't have a camera. You been working out Dave I didn't know you looked like that?" Stevie teases from her vantage point.

He looks across to where she's sitting up on the veranda rail.

"What are you doing here?" He questions.

"Oh nice, no hello, how are you, long time no see." She remarks.

He moves inside and calls back. "Hang on I'm cold I'll get dressed."

Stevie remains on the veranda rail feeling unwelcome.

…..

She sits with her head down deep in thought but lifts her face as the flyscreen door squeaks open.

"You'd better come inside." He suggests.

"No thanks I know when I'm not welcome." She snaps as she jumps down from the rail and strides towards the gate.

"Stevie! Come back here and behave like a grown up." Dave growls.

"Me behave like a grown up? You're the one that ran away like a frightened little girl." She retorts as she spins back to face him.

…..

He looks down at his feet and sliding one hand into his pocket looks directly into her face. "I'm sorry it shouldn't have happened."

"Yeah well it did and we need to talk about why it happened." She answers.

"I don't know why it happened." He answers.

"Bullshit Dave that's bullshit. Don't lie to me." She snarls.

"You're not my type." He replies.

She laughs and questions. "Do you always kiss women who aren't your type?"

He looks so very sad as he stands looking at her.

"Dave?"

"You're Alex's wife Stevie I should never have crossed that boundary. I've betrayed him and his memory." He offers trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

Tears spill from her eyes and her chin quivers. "I'm Alex's widow Dave and you haven't betrayed him."

He nods with glassy eyes and a heavy heart.

"You're not my type either but in case you hadn't noticed I didn't slap your face." She comments as she reduces the distance between them.

"It's too soon." He states.

"Too soon for what?" She asks.

"For someone to kiss you and …" He begins.

She touches his arm and replies. "You are the sweetest man Dave Brewer but in case you haven't noticed I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself."

He smirks and nods at her.

"Now we need to have our beer you reneged on last Friday and I think we need to have another kiss and see if it was just a moment or something else." She states.

"What if it's something else?" He asks.

"Then we'll talk about it." She replies.

"So you felt something too?"

"Well yes I did but it's been so long since I was kissed I'm a tad confused over what I felt."

He nods.

…..

Placing her hand on his chest she chuckles and says. "Relax Dave I won't bite."

He grins at her.

With her second hand resting against him she rises up on her toes.

He looks at her and grinning quips." That's a neat trick I don't have to bend."

"Yeah Alex liked it too." She responds.

He frowns and asks. "Should you really be talking about him when you're going to kiss me?"

"He will always be with me Dave you know that so you might as well get used to it."

As he places his hands on her hips he responds. "I realise that but I'd rather be thinking about you not him at the moment and I'd appreciate you thinking about me if that's ok?"

"Ok." She replies.

….

Leaning down he slides his arms around her as their lips meet.

Thoughts disappear as they both glide into this moment.

Slowly returning to flat feet she steps back and looks at him thoughtfully.

He inhales and exhales and studies her face. "Well?"

"Hmm well." She sighs.

…

Before another word is spoken they kiss again.

This one is different.

Stepping back after a minute or so Dave breathes quickly. "No more Stevie until you tell me what you're thinking."

She smiles at him and softly touches her lips. "I really wasn't expecting that."

"Expecting what? You said that the night of Xander's party and I'm still confused by the comment."

"You are really good at kissing Dave." She says.

"Thanks but I need more."

"I'm not sleeping with you yet?" She growls.

He laughs.

"What's so funny?"

"You are! Crikey Stevie I just wanted to know if you felt something with the kiss and you've got us in bed I hadn't even gotten that far." Dave chortles.

Her angry face disappears and she gives him a quick smile. "Sorry you meant did I enjoy the kiss? Yes I did and I think I'd like to do that again but I'd like a beer first so we can slow down and think about where this might lead us. I might be rebounding still Dave and you're a good mate and I don't want either of us to get hurt Ok?"

He nods, smiles and replies. "Ok come on and I'll shout you a beer."

Reaching for the screen door she quips. "I thought you'd never ask."

"Well I prefer coming to your place because I get fed too." He jokes as he follows her inside.

She laughs loudly.


	9. Chapter 9 Confession

_**Kilarney….Two days later….**_

Nick arrives and pulling on the hand brake alights from his Ute.

Marcus is working over near the sheds and walks across to greet him.

"G'Day Nick what brings you here today?"

'Stevie rang and asked me to come over."Nick replies.

"So you've been summoned as well?" Marcus asks.

Without expression Nick replies. "What do you mean?"

"Stevie asked me to meet her here at one and you're here too. I wonder what it's about?"

"No idea but we're about to find out." Nick replies watching Stevie stride down the path.

…

"Hi! Sorry for pulling you both away from work but I needed to discuss something with the both of you." Stevie begins.

"Nothing's wrong is it?" Nick asks sounding concerned.

"Well that depends on how you look at life." Stevie answers cryptically.

The trio walk around near the pool at Stevie's insistence and sit down.

…

 _ **Drover's Run…..**_

Regan pushes the cattle up the race as Tess and Taylor drench each one.

"Smoko!" Moira yells as she walk s towards them.

"Ok hang on we've almost finished this lot." Tess yells back.

The girls work quickly and finish the yarded cattle.

Looking up Regan notices Nick's Ute comes to a stop near the house.

"Nick's back." She calls to Tess.

Tess watches for Nick to look across and waves when he does.

Swiftly he slams the car door and walks away from the girls towards the house.

The smile that was on Tess's face fades. " I'll be back in a minute."

….

 _ **Gungellan Truck Stop…..**_

Feeling flatter than she has in ages Stevie holds onto the fuel nozzle as the pump fills her tank.

Zoned out by her thoughts she doesn't notice the bright green Holden that pulls in behind her.

The pump clicks off and she pulls the nozzle from the car.

"G'Day Stevie." A gravelly voice calls.

She looks up and is genuinely shocked to see Kane Morgan standing at the pump.

"Kane! What are you doing here?" She asks.

"Yeah nice to see you too." He remarks.

She gives him a weak smile and apologizes.

"You look great Stevie and the Utes still going. Nothing's changed here." He remarks smiling brightly at her.

A baby's chatter from the cabin turns his grin into a puzzled expression.

Stevie disappears into her car and returns with her son.

….

Kane's expression changes to a scowl and he accuses. "So he wanted you for himself."

"Meaning?"

"Well ya kid looks like Alex so I'm guessing you've taken up with him. Any bloody wonder he warned me off. Guess you got what ya wanted the easy way hey? Nice big farm another kid, good for you." Kane snarls.

Her face drops and she doesn't reply but walks quickly into the truck stop.

Kane watches as she drives off and feels bitter.

"Bitch." He mutters.

….

 _ **Gungellan Post Office…**_

Stevie stands chatting to Dave.

"So it didn't go well?" Dave asks.

Sadly she shakes her head. "No it didn't. I'm sorry Dave."

He slowly nods his head and asks. "Should I come over for a beer tonight?"

"Maybe not Hey?"

Again he nods.

….

Softly touching her arm he offers words of support.

"I so need a hug right now." She admits.

He looks around the area.

'I know it'll just cause gossip." Stevie says knowing he's thinking about if they are seen in public.

He nods and says. "I'd better get going I have to be at Holloway's in half an hour."

"Ok I'll see you around." She replies.

…..

 _ **The road to Kilarney….**_

Stevie glances in her rear vision mirror and eases off on the accelerator seeing a car flashing its lights at her.

Through the dust plume from the gravel road it's difficult to see who it is.

Indicating and pulling over to the side of the road she checks on a sleeping Xander beside her before turning back to see who has flagged her down.

Kane Morgan climbs from his car and she sees him.

Anger rises in her and she plants her foot sending stones, grass and dirt all over him and his car.

…

 _ **Drovers**_ **_Run_**...

" What do you mean I'm wrong?" Nick growls.

"She basically asked permission to date someone Nick! She's a grown woman and yet she thought enough of you and Marcus to discuss her personal life with you when it's none of your flaming business." Tess argues.

He glares at her.

The phone ringing causes him to look away from her." Drovers Run Nick Ryan speaking. What? Slow down Marcus , when? How long has she been gone? What about the baby? Shit! On my way."

Slamming the phone down Nick states. " Stevie's gone. We have to find her quickly."

The urgency in his voice alarms Tess and she questions ."Why ?"

"I'll tell you in the car." Nicks calls running towards the back door.

" Moira can you watch Claire please?" Tess pleads as she runs to follow Nick.

" Yeah sure. Everything will be alright." Moira yells after them.

Neither realize what she says.

...

In the car Nick races towards Kilarney. " Marcus said she was really quiet when she got back from town. He heard her car go and found a note on the kitchen bench."

" A note?"

"Yes and it said I can't do this anymore."

Tess cries and begins to hit out at him." If she hurts herself I blame you."

He holds her hands together with one hand while trying to steer.

" She wouldn't do that Tess she's not like that." Nick argues.

" How do you know what she's thinking? You've never lived in her heart." Tess screams.

Stopping the car he cautions." Stop fighting , we can finish this later but for now we have to concentrate on finding her."

" His grave ! She'll be at his grave." Tess states with tears drizzling down her cheeks.

...


	10. Chapter 10 The Essence of a Man

_**Alex's grave…**_

Stevie sits on the hill, her legs crossed, her eyes puffy and the mascara smudged.

A decanter of whisky is held firmly in her right hand.

Every now and again she swigs from the bottle.

"Eww I don't know how you could drink this stuff straight Alex." She splutters.

….

Her Ute stands silent with the driver's side door open and ACDC blares from the CD player.

In the back tray her swag is occupied by a blissfully unaware Xander.

A fluffy bundle called Hope is spread out beside him with her wet nose resting on his hand.

Stevie had waited until Xander had fallen asleep before she went back up to talk to Alex alone.

…

Nick and Tess arrive just as Marcus pulls up with Dave on board.

Stevie hasn't heard them.

With the discovering of a safe and contented Xander Nick relaxes slightly before giving Dave a filthy look as Marcus and Dave join them.

"Why are you here?" Nick snarls.

"Settle down Nick I asked him to come. Whether you like it or not he's her friend and he might be able to help." Marcus retorts.

"It's a family matter and he's not family." Nick argues.

"Enough Nick let it go we're here to help Stevie and if Dave being here helps then I agree with Marcus." Tess snaps.

Turning away and looking up the hill Nick grumbles. "What in the hell is she doing out here?"

"Running. Hiding." Tess explains before telling them to wait while she tries talking to her first.

….

Tess approaches Stevie from the side and her gut knots when she sees the expression on her friends face.

"Need some company?" Tess enquires.

Holding up the bottle Stevie grumbles. "No thanks I've already got some."

"Mind if I sit down?" Tess asks standing beside her.

Shrugging her shoulders Stevie replies. "My life's not my own so who am I to answer that."

….

Quietly the three men have slowly climbed the hill behind the two women.

"Having a rough day?" Tess comments.

Picking at the label on the bottle Stevie grumps. "Rough day! Most of my life has been rough!"

Tess hears her sniff so reaches over to rub her back.

Stevie shrugs her away.

"Stevie?" Tess soothes.

"No Tess! No more come on Stevie smile you'll be ok. You have to move on. The minute I tried to move on you all judged me so you can bugger off and leave me alone."

"I never judged you."

"No? Really Tess? The minute you knew Dave and I liked each other tell me you never dissected any of it?" Stevie snarls.

The look on Tess's face answers the question.

"Yeah I knew it. The only perfect relationship is yours isn't it?" Stevie snaps before guzzling more alcohol.

Screwing up her face she wipes her tears and mouth with the back of her hand.

…..

Behind her Nick and Marcus feel intense shame.

Dave feels a sadness not only for Stevie but for himself.

Silently they stand waiting for Stevie to calm down.

…..

Tess searches for words and as she does Stevie angrily picks at the grass around her.

Glancing back she sees Nicks boot.

Turning herself back towards Alex's grave she questions. "Brought him to help drag me back to be the upright and prime and proper Mrs Ryan the community expect have you?'

"Stevie that's unfair we love you and care about you as a member of our family and one of our dearest friends."

"Friends." Stevie huffs.

"Yes friends and if you'd stop to think about that for one minute you'd be glad we care." Tess defends.

"And if you'd all stop for one minute and think about me instead of what the community thinks you'd have reacted in a completely different way." Stevie argues before again swigging from the decanter.

…..

Tess sits still digesting all that they've said.

Stevie continues to sip from the bottle and pick grass.

Her tears have slowed but her anger and sadness sit poised to be unleashed.

"We've never had to deal with a situation like this before Stevie and we're trying to make it easy for you." Tess suggests.

"Easy for me! How? How Tess? How can you wipe away the longing I have to be held? How can you know the sadness I feel? Everything and everyone around me are connected to him. "

"So are you leaving?" Tess asks quietly.

Stevie looks at his headstone and replies. "The essence of a man never leaves. He's with me every waking hour Tess. Every sunset and sunrise whispers his name to me. He loved Kilarney and he loved me and Xander, how can I take his son away from where he wanted him to grow up."

"But I thought he said you could raise him wherever you wanted?"

In between sniffing, wiping her tears and picking at the grass Stevie replies. "He knew I would rear him on Kilarney because I knew his heart. He told me once you need to live every day as if it's your last because you just don't know when it will be. He wouldn't want me to be lonely Tess it took me a long time to come to that conclusion. You can all try to make it easy as much as you like but I'm lonely Tess so dreadfully lonely. "

Tess reaches over and places her hand on Stevie's knee.

She doesn't push it away.

"I'm sorry Stevie." Tess comments.

"Dave's my friend Tess and we've talked about this. Circumstances may have made us feel things that will be brief but I've been so comforted by his support and he's made me feel like its ok to smile and laugh again but I will never marry again and Dave and I have even talked about that too." Stevie states.

…..

Behind them Nick and Marcus look at Dave.

Glassy eyed he turns and walks back down to the cars.

Nick and Marcus follow him.

"So this is just a fling for you?" Nick questions Dave.

Dave's face gives nothing away until his fist connects with Nick's face.

"There has been no fling. We shared a few kisses that's all." Dave snarls.

Marcus steps in between them and calls a ceasefire.

Holding his face Nick says. "So you haven't slept with her?"

"Not that it's any of your business but no I haven't! She's not ready for that." Dave growls.

"I think we've made a huge mistake Nick and I think we need to butt out of Stevie's business unless she asks for our opinions." Marcus ventures.

Nick studies his face and then looks at Dave.

…

 _ **Kilarneys main house….hours later...**_

Stevie picks up the remote control and pushes eject.

The screen goes blue as the tray glides out.

Standing up she moves over and poking her finger through the hole places the DVD back into the safety of the protective cover.

Placing it into the cabinet she speaks. "I'll make coffee."

…

As the door closes behind her Tess wipes her tears and sniffs. "Oh my God that was awful and beautiful at the same time."

Nick leans forward and resting his elbows on his knees hangs his head and gives into the grief he feels.

Tess rubs his back in sympathy.

"You alright Dave?" Marcus asks.

Dave nods slightly and replies. "I've seen it a couple of times and it gets me every time."

Nick's head snaps up and he wipes his face. "You've seen it before?"

"Stevie showed it to me the first day I arrived, their anniversary and tonight." Dave responds.

"Why?" Nick asks.

Dave replies. "She asked if I'd like to see it and I wasn't going to say no to her it's part of her life and a part of their relationship. Plus it helped me understand what she was dealing with. So you haven't seen it?"

The others reply in the negative.

"She told me she had it and that I could see it if I wanted but I just couldn't..." Nick offers.

"I'll go and give her a hand with the coffee." Dave comments.

…..

Stevie is loading up a tray with the coffees and biscuits and looks up as Dave enters the kitchen.

He doesn't hesitate but walks straight to her.

Raising his arms she accepts his embrace.

He squeezes tightly and then rubbing her back asks. "You ok?"

She looks up at him and although teary eyed nods.

…..

He smiles and encourages. "He'd be so proud of you Stevie. He always said you were tough."

"I hid in a bottle Dave." She offers.

He grins as he smells the whisky on her breath. "He often hid in a bottle too it's ok Stevie so long as you don't stay in it."

She quips. "Permanently pickled."

He laughs and asks. "Well he called you Cowgirl maybe I should call you Pickle?"

She shoves him with her elbow.

…

"Here let me carry that." He offers picking up the tray.

Following him towards the door she asks. "Do you think it's changed their opinion Dave?"

Stopping he turns back and asks. "The DVD or what he said?"

"All of it."

"Yeah I think it's had a profound effect on them especially Nick."

"Baby steps Dave?"

"Yeah baby steps." Dave agrees as he makes to move on.

…

Her hand holds his arm softly.

He looks down at her.

"Do you think I could have a little kiss?" She questions.

He looks at the door then back to her.

Bending low with the tray still in his hands he kisses her briefly.

Inhaling deeply she exhales and comments. "I don't know what I would have done without you Dave."

"That's what friends are for Pickle." He jokes.

She releases a small chuckle, steps around him and holds the door open.

As he walks through into the living room she follows him and whispers. "They'll be no more calling me Pickle Brewer do you hear?"

He doesn't reply or laugh as they return to the sombre room that holds Stevie's family.

…


	11. Chapter 11 Stay

_**Kilarney …The following morning….**_

Stevie stretches and yawns.

Turning onto her side she runs her hand across the empty side of her bed.

Rolling onto her back a contented smile slips onto her face as she rests her hands behind her head.

Staring at the ceiling she feels happier than she has in over a year.

"It's a new day Cowboy and I'm allowed to smile and feel again." She whispers.

A sensation so strong makes her heart skip.

Throwing back the covers she rises and enters the bathroom.

…

 _ **Drover's Run…**_

Claire wanders through the kitchen with her baby doll and pram.

Tess is busy fixing coffee and toast as the back door squeaks open.

The room is filled with chatter as Kate and Taylor arrive.

Regan joins them and asks. "Where's Nick?"

"He's got a meeting with the stock agent in town." Tess replies.

"Everything alright?" Kate asks.

…

Tess looks at them and divulges. "Yes all good on Kilarney but…"

"But what?" Regan questions looking concerned.

"Nick has a black eye." Tess confesses.

"What Stevie hit him?" Taylor exclaims.

"No Dave did. Apparently Nick implied something and Dave took offence to the remark." Tess replies.

"Good I hope it knocked some sense into him. I hope he whacked Marcus as well." Kate states.

They all look at her stunned by the remark.

….

"What?" Kate questions straight faced.

Awkwardly they stand in silence until Tess bites her lip.

They all grin when she comments. "No, only one punch and that was enough to make them both sit up and take notice."

"Dave punched someone? I can't believe it." Regan muses.

"I can! I've seen him fire up before when he feels strongly about something." Kate states.

"Or someone." Taylor ads with a big smile on her face.

"So Stevie's ok?" Regan asks.

Tess nods and replies. "Yes she is. We found her at Alex's grave necking a bottle of whiskey. It was a dreadful few hours but I think it safe to say the air has been cleared and she is happy about that. "

"So are they dating now?" Taylor asks.

Tess shrugs her shoulders and responds. "That's none of our business Taylor and I'm sure when and if that happens Stevie will tell us."

…

 _ **Gungellan….**_

Stevie has been busy all morning buying supplies and collecting the mail.

Xander has an appointment with the health nurse for his one year check-up.

Stevie isn't surprised that he is in the highest percentile for his height and weight.

"He's a big boy Stevie." Janet Poole announces.

"Alex was well over six feet so I'm not surprised." Stevie replies.

"I would have liked to have met him, everyone speaks highly of him." Janet replies.

"He was my best friend Janet and I miss him so much but I have to move on for the sake of my own happiness and that of this little man." Stevie replies hugging Xander tightly.

"You've done an amazing job with him Stevie. He's the happiest little boy." Janet encourages.

"I have a wonderful group of family and friends around me so I've had tonnes of support." Stevie responds.

….

Leaving the health centre Stevie holds Xander's hand as he toddles along beside her.

Across the street Nick spots them and smiles.

Opening the car door he walks towards them.

Stevie is looking down at Xander when she senses someone in front of her.

Looking up still with a smile on her face it drops away as she comes face to face with Kane Morgan.

Without a word Stevie bends and picks her son up.

Turning away from him she stops as he calls. "Stevie wait I owe you an apology."

…..

Glaring at him she snarls. "I don't care what you think Kane."

"Stevie please. Alex was my mate and I was stunned when I heard that he'd passed away." Kane offers.

"If he was your mate why did you say the things you said? If he was alive would you have apologized or is it out of pity that you've even bothered approaching me?" Stevie snaps.

He smiles at her and responds. "Always tell it like it is don't you?"

"I have things to do Kane is that it?" Stevie fires, her gaze shifting to an oncoming Nick.

"I thought you'd let me shout you a beer?" Kane replies smiling at her.

…..

Stevie is about to speak when Nick quips. "I wouldn't bother if I was you Kane I said something to her new boyfriend about her and ended up with this."

Kane turns to finds Nick Ryan standing behind him pointing to his black eye.

Stevie bites her lip briefly before putting her poker face on as Kane turns back towards her. "You've got a boyfriend already?"

"She's been a widow for over a year Kane how long do you think a gorgeous woman like her should stay on the shelf?" Nick comments winking at Stevie.

"Oh um I didn't mean anything by that Nick." Kane replies.

"Right well if you'll excuse us we've got a meeting with our stock agent." Nick pushes.

Kane nods and replies. "Yeah no worries I don't want to hold you up. How's Tess by the way?"

"Yeah she's good thank you, I'll tell her you said Hello." Nick answers as her places his hand in the small of Stevie's back and ushers her away.

…..

"Thanks for that Nick but I was ok." Stevie comments.

"Yeah I know but I was just being your back up." Nick answers.

"Nick?"

"Yes."

"Dave's not my boyfriend."

"Well not officially but we both know that's just a matter of time don't we." Nick responds.

They continue walking.

She looks up at him and smiles.

He winks at her.

….

 _ **Drover's Run …**_

Moira stands with Claire beside her and a huge grin on her face as the girls leave the horse yards.

"Gee you must have had a good day Moira you look happy." Regan comments.

"Claire and I have had a lovely afternoon and we've just greeted our visitors." Moira replies.

"Visitors? Who visits on a work day?" Tess questions.

Moira grins and her eyes shift to the shed.

The girls follow her gaze and collectively squeal. "Jodi!"

…

 _ **Kilarney…..**_

Stevie sits on the bench while Xander plays with the puppy beside her.

Dave walks across the garden bridge.

Holding a six pack in the air he calls. "I brought beer for me and you and a fruit juice for the little bloke."

Stevie smiles at him and calls back. "His own beer."

Reaching the veranda he replies. "Didn't want him to feel left out."

"You're sweet Dave." Stevie offers still smiling at him.

Looking around he asks. "Am I allowed to kiss you in public or are we still under surveillance?"

Standing up she chuckles and replies. "I'm my own woman again and I'll do as I please."

He gives her a cheeky smile and delivers a soft, sweet kiss while she holds his face with one hand.

"I really like kissing you but it still feels a bit odd." Dave states.

"Me too and yeah it does but time will change that don't you think?"

"Yeah it will." He reassures her.

….

Sitting beside each other Stevie asks him to stay for dinner.

"I'd love too you're a better cook than me." He replies.

She laughs and responds. "I wouldn't go that far but thanks for trying to compliment my efforts."

He grins and replies. "We should take cooking lessons together, the local community house is running a course next month."

'I thought you'd offer something better than that for our first official date. "She teases.

He looks at her and asks. "Date?"

She shrugs and quips. "If you don't want too?"

"No! No! I'd love too. Really we can actually go on a date?" He asks sounding thrilled.

Her eyebrows raise and she responds. "Well I'm not sure if I like you and a date would be a good way to find out."

He laughs and pushes her with his arm.

She laughs too.

He leans over and kisses her again.

….

"Dave." She asks quietly.

He looks at her and asks. "What?"

'Would you like to stay tonight?"

"I thought I already was?"

"No I mean stay."

His eyes flick across her face. "Oh you mean after dinner?"

Looking serious she nods.

"Oh now you've got me scared." He jokes.

She laughs and pushes him in the side and responds. "Well that'll make two of us so you'll be in good company."

"Do you think you're ready to take that step?"

Inhaling she replies. "Yes I am."

Sliding his arm across her shoulder he replies. "I hope I haven't forgotten what to do?"

"I'm sure between the two of us we'll work it out." She replies as she takes a sip of beer.

He laughs.

…


	12. Chapter 12 Slumber

**Drover's Run… Just on Midnight….**

Tess and Jodi sit in the kitchen drinking hot sweet tea.

On their return from Kilarney earlier in the evening they'd settled the children into bed before Nick and Matt had left them alone while they headed off to bed.

"Tiana is so much like you Jodes." Tess remarks.

Jodi nods her head but her face shows great sadness.

…..

Reaching over Tess rubs her arm and says. "Still in shock."

She cries again and in between her anguish sobs responds. "She waited so long for him Tess life isn't fair is it?"

Despite trying so hard to be strong Tess cries too.

"I never got to say goodbye." Jodi comments.

Tess shakes her head and ads. "We didn't either Jodi."

"She's doing ok isn't she?" Jodi remarks wiping her tears.

"Yes she is now but it's taken a long time. Dave has been wonderful with her." Tess replies.

Blinking through her tears Jodi asks. "Are they together Tess? There was more than friendship between them."

"Nothing official but yeah they like each other Jodi."

"I would never have thought they were each other's type but I'm not concerned at all so long as she's happy that's all that matters isn't it." Jodi muses.

Tess studies her sister's face and replies. "Yeah so long as she's happy we should be too."

Jodi stands to grab a tissue and puts the box on the table.

Tess retrieves a couple and blows her nose.

"It's so good to be home Tess."

"It's good to have you home Jodi, tears and all."

"Tomorrow we won't cry ok? "Jodi suggests.

Tess gives a small laugh and replies. "Well we'll try anyway."

Jodi sips her tea and then with a deep breath sighs. "I'm going to sleep like a log tonight."

…..

With the window open Stevie sits in the armchair with one leg tucked under her and the other resting over the arm of the chair.

Dressed in cotton shorts and a singlet top she feels the breeze playing with her hair.

The night sky twinkles at her and she concentrates on her own breathing.

Sensing movement behind her she glances back in time to see Dave's silhouette sits up and look around.

"Would you like me to go home?" He asks.

She looks back out the window and replies. "No."

The bed announces he has risen from it and the bathroom door and light intrude on her solitude momentarily.

A minute later the toilet flushes and the light returns the room to half-light.

"Are you ok?" He asks as he sits on the spare arm of the chair.

…..

Her hand rests on his bare leg and she replies. "I'm sorry about before."

"You only asked me to sleep over Pickle and that's exactly what we did." He responds with an attempt at humour.

With the arrival of Jodi, Matt and their baby the night had changed dramatically.

Tears and grief were shared between the two women and by the time they'd left to return to Drover's Stevie was a soggy mess.

Dave had suggested he should go home.

Stevie had pleaded for him to stay.

Alone in her room he held her as she cried and then they slept.

Their conversation from earlier in the evening forgotten.

Lifting her head she smiles at him.

Leaning forward he leaves a lingering kiss on her forehead.

Straightening up he asks. "If you need to talk I'll go and make us some tea."

…

Standing up she looks at him.

Reaching down she grips the bottom of her shirt in her hands and slowly peels it up her body.

"No more talking." She replies.

"You sure." He asks.

She doesn't answer but steps closer.

Picking up his hands she encourages them around her.

"No talking." She repeats.

He hugs her closely.

…

 _ **Kilarney… Early the following morning….**_

Dressed in a towel Stevie sits in front of the mirror brushing her hair.

Turning around she watches as he stretches and yawns.

"Morning." She offers softly.

He rests up on his elbow and smiling replies. "Top of the morning to ya Pickle."

She smiles but shakes her head and asks. "You're not gunna drop Pickle are you?"

He pats the side of the bed and replies. "I'm not sure yet perhaps you could convince me not too call you that with a good morning kiss."

…..

Sitting beside him she inhales deeply and leaning forward kisses him.

In slow motion he rolls her across his body back onto the bed.

"So last night was ok?" She questions.

"Are you serious last night was beautiful?" He responds.

She smiles at him.

"So you didn't think it was ok?" He asks.

"Well I'd give you full points for effort." She quips.

…..

He sits up and lets her go.

"Dave what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

She sits up and touching his arm asks. "Dave talk to me."

"I thought it was great and you didn't. I don't know how I feel about that. I mean if we're not matched in that department ….it's not good…"

She angles her head and with the sweetest smile replies. "I'm sorry that's my fault Dave. Alex and I were very competitive and we always had this running joke that made us try harder in all aspects of our lives. If I'd said that to him it was a clear sign I thought it was perfect and that he could do that again."

Dave looks at her and softly remarks. "I'm not Alex."

"No you aren't and he wasn't you. You are the sweetest and kindest person that I know and I'm so glad I have you in my life. "She offers.

He looks at her.

A smile slips across his face. "Can I try again?"

Her eyes light up and she shrugs her shoulder and replies. "I don't know do you think you're man enough?"

He laughs and drags her back down onto the bed.

Throwing his leg across her he positions himself to kiss her.

A loud knock on the door stops them.

"Stevie! One of the mares has run through the fence!" Marcus calls from outside.

"Righto I'll call the vet!" Stevie yells back.

On the outside of her door Marcus grins.

He'd already seen Dave's car parked where it was last night.

"We need a vet." Stevie whispers to Dave.

"Ok give me twenty minutes and I'll be there." He replies.

"Twenty minutes?" She asks.

"Or thirty. Shhhh no talking." He says on her lips.

….


	13. Chapter 13 Friends and Lovers

_**Gungellan. Three weeks later…The local fair and market day…..**_

Jodi and Matt wander along with Tiana in her stroller.

It's taken them almost half an hour to get from where they parked the car to this point.

"Here we go again." Matt whispers from the corner of his mouth as old Mrs Bradshaw trundles at high speed towards them.

"Oh Jodi it's so good to see you, Daphne told me all about where you've been and what happened!"

"It's good to see you too Mrs Bradshaw and we'd love to stand and chat but we're late to meet Stevie and Dave." Jodi replies.

Mrs Bradshaw straightens up and looking around to see if ears are listening asks. " Are they together Jodi? She needs someone to help rear that sweet little boy."

Mrs Bradshaw has never been one to gossip so Jodi knows this is a genuine enquiring and heartfelt concern.

Jodi leans in close and whispers. " Yes I think they are Mrs Bradshaw but it's not public knowledge yet."

Mrs Bradshaw pats her arm and with a comforted smile offers. "Please pass on my best wishes to them both . He'll be good for her I think. He loves animals and he's a gentle, sweet man. Oh and Jodi I'll keep it under my hat until they go public you have my word on that. Some of these old fuddy duddy's are still back in the dark ages . She's too young to be alone."

Matt's smile is broad as he tips his hat at the old woman.

He's always liked her and he had a great deal of time for her late husband Cyril. A kindly old man and a brilliant farmer.

…

Under the shade of the small blue marquee Nick sits with one of his CFS counterparts chatting to locals and trying to round up more members to help with fires and emergencies.

Their stand has been strategically placed beside the animal nursery in the hope young parents might sign up to help.

Many of the volunteers were older now and new blood was needed.

Between the car and the table under the shade from the warm afternoon sun Xander Ryan sleeps stretched out on a blanket under the watchful eye of his Uncle while his Mother helps Dave nearby with the young children and animals.

Care is needed to supervise children with baby animals as they sometime squeeze a little too tight.

Many have commented throughout the morning about the little boy and how he is so much like his Father.

Phil Rakich had implied he wasn't impressed about the rumour of a romance between Dave Brewer and Stevie and her ability to rear Alex Ryan's offspring.

Nick looked concerned as Stevie fired up and basically dragged Rakich to one side and was animated as she quite obviously told him what she thought of him sticking his nose in her business .

The colour drained from Phil's smug face as her tirade continued.

Stevie snarled. " I have a video Alex made while I was trying to call emergency services Phil and if anyone else has questions about my abilities to rear my child, tell em' to come and see me and they can hear Alex's thoughts themselves!"

With his proverbial tail between his legs Phil Rakich slithered away and avoided Stevie for the rest of the day.

She'd told Nick earlier she was ready to take on the district if she needed too and it had only taken an hour for the issue to raise its ugly head in the shape of Phil Rakich.

"That's a bit harsh don't you think Stevie. Do you really think that will work?" Nick had asked.

Shrugging her shoulders and with an angry look on her face Stevie replied. "My life is none of their bloody business Nick and you know I like my privacy but I'm willing to for go that luxury if they piss off and let me to live my life my way. Time will tell if this works but even if he keeps his negative comments to himself I'll be happy."

Nick had smiled internally.

She was tough and strong again.

Alex was always proud of her and Nick was positive if he could let them know from where ever he was he'd be extremely proud of her today.

...

 _ **Three years later...**_

Kilarney's gardens are trimmed to perfection as a multitude of people in after five dress mill around laughing and talking to each other.

Marcus wraps his arms around Stevie and she hugs in tight.

"I think we've excelled ourselves this time Marcus." Stevie offers smiling up at him.

With a cheeky wink and a grin he replies. "I'm well and truly off the market now Stevie and you've missed the chance of a lifetime."

She hugs him again and responds. " I've already had my chance in a lifetime husband Marcus and I'm more than happy with my life just the way it is thanks."

"All those years ago I never thought I'd find my wife here Stevie."

Stevie laughs and quips." You didn't stand a chance Marcus."

"Its my charm Stevie."

"You sure you aren't a Ryan?" She questions with a smile on her face.

His face changes . " I wish he was here."

"Me too but Nick made a fabulous Best Man."

"Yeah he did ,didn't he."

...

Stevie's eyes shift as Kate joins them.

Kate lifts her arms and hugs Stevie.

The two women share a close bond and without words acknowledge the joy and sadness of the day.

It's Stevie's first wedding since her own .

"It's official Stevie we're sisters now." Kate comments.

"Yeah we are Kate. It's been the best day and I'm so happy for you." Stevie replies hugging her again.

"What about me?" Marcus asks playfully.

Kate moves into his arms and quips" You get to hug me forever so settle down."

For only a split second Stevie's heart plunges and her face shows it.

"Stevie." Kate soothes.

Stevie chuckles and responds. " I'm fine Kate haven't the two of you got a honeymoon to start?"

Jodi arrives and hands Stevie a small baby in a pink blanket.

"Here Stevie I got her to sleep but I need to sort Kate out so my cuddle times over."

"You're going to sort me out I highly doubt that." Kate retorts.

Jodi grabs her hand and says ." Come on I want to show you something before you go."

...

 _ **Alex's Grave...The following day...**_

Stevie stands telling Alex all about the last few months.

"Sorry I haven't been up here for awhile, my life has become a bit hectic at the moment." She offers before repositioning her feet.

"Xander loves kindy Alex and he has loads of little friends. Dave and Marcus have just bought a new pony for him and his riding is excellent. You'd be so proud of him."

A car driving across the paddock diverts her attention momentarily.

"Here come my boys now so I'll have to be quick." She tells him as she looks down into her arms and pushes back the soft pink blanket.

Smiling she squats down and comments . " This little beauty is Xander's baby sister. I had a completely different name picked out for her but Dave convinced me there was only one name she could have."

Tears trickle down her cheeks .

She sniffs and continues." You always wanted your own little girl but we never had time for that to happen so I thought I'd introduce you to my baby Alex her name is Marion Jane Brewer. Cute huh?"

...

Dave lifts Xander from the car and directs him to go to his Mother.

Xander runs fast on long , strong legs.

His dog Hope bounds after him.

Stevie smiles and gives Dave a wave as he slowly follows Xander and the dog.

...

"Mum! Daddy said we're going to the pub for lunch and I can have a raspberry lemonade!" Xander announces excitedly.

Stevie smiles at the young boy and replies. " Ok I'm ready."

He looks at the gravestone and back at her and asks. " Did Daddy like Mazzy?"

A warmth flows through her and she responds. " Yeah he did."

She's amazed how easily he accepts that Dave is his Daddy and that the man he sees in photos and this headstone represent his Daddy as well.

She wonders how much he really understands.

Dave joins them and places a large bouquet of Kilarney roses on the grave.

Stevie hands the pink bundle to Dave and rearranges the roses.

...

"Headstone needs a good clean Stevie." Dave states.

"Yes it does I haven't been here in months." She replies.

"We'll come back out tomorrow and fix it." He offers.

She smiles at him and nods as he slides he free arm across her shoulder turning her towards the car.

Xander takes her hand and Hope runs along side him her tail wagging happily.

...

 _ **Drover's Run...**_

" Come on Tess hurry it up we'll be late." Nick calls up the stairs.

Appearing at the top of the stairs with a smile and a six month old baby in her arms she replies. "Husband isn't it about time you worked out with a house full of women that we take time to make ourselves beautiful."

Nick grins as she ushers his two older girls down the stairs.

"Claire hold Pippa's hand please." Tess directs.

Nick takes the baby from his wife's arms and kissing her cheek asks. "Our little Ruby gets cuter everyday doesn't she?"

"Takes after her Mother." Tess teases.

Nick grins and leaning to kiss her says . " The Ryan charm."

"Yeah." She agrees thinking about Alex and his frequently used saying.

...

With their girls buckled into the car Nick and Tess have a quick conversation about the wedding yesterday before their conversation shifts to Dave and Stevie.

"Do you think she'll ever marry again Tess?"

"No they've both said the same thing Nick ."

"Been there and done that?" Nick suggests.

Tess nods and smiles at him. " They don't need the paperwork Nick they're both very happy as lovers."

Nick chuckles and quips. " We should have lived in sin too Wifey I'd like to refer to you as my Lover."

"Still can Husband." She smirks raising her eyebrow quickly.

"Yeah." He laughs as they climb into their seats.

...

 _ **The front of the Gungellan Pub.**_

Tiana attempts to redirect her younger sister Bridie.

"Mummy tell her to be good my legs are tired." Tiana calls to Jodi.

Stevie chuckles and quips. " Oh she is going to be fun."

Tess laughs as Bridie up ends one of the pot plants and grabs for the large frog that hops onto the window sill.

Picking the toddler up Jodi calls. " Come on lets go out to the beer garden she can play in the sandpit ."

Tess, Stevie and the group of little girls follow in indian file as Jodi leads the way.

...

Stevie cuts through into the bar and tells Dave where they're heading.

Xander is sitting up on a bar stool with his large hands grasping a glass of Raspberry lemonade.

"When he's bouncing off the walls tonight you can deal with him." Stevie warns.

"Don't worry Stevie we've already organized to take them all to the playground after dinner. He'll sleep. Wont ya mate?" Nick responds ruffling his nephews hair.

Xander laughs.

Stevie smiles at her son before turning to join the girls.

...

As Stevie reaches the door to outside a gaggle of little girls greet her as Tess ushers them through to the toilet.

Claire has Pippa's hand while Tess holds Tiana's hand as she chases a running Bridie.

"The next generation of Drover's girls." Dave chuckles.

Nick looks at him and suggest. " That includes your little one too."

Dave nods and informs him. " Stevie's teaching me to ride so I wont embarrass Mazzy when she gets older."

Matt places his hand on Dave's shoulder and remarks. "I love her name Dave that was a nice gesture."

Dave glances at him and replies. " I think it was the only name we could choose Matt, he was my best mate, Xander's Dad and she'll always love him."

Nick studies Dave's face and asks " You ok with that?"

Dave's face is blank and then a smile drifts onto his face. " She loves me Nick I know that because she's told me and I can feel it but she lost him when she was deeply in love with him and that feeling doesn't go away and I know that and I accept that."

Nick smiles at this man he once despised and without filter states. " I can finally see why Alex loved you."

...

Dave in his usual way jokes about the comment then lifting Xander from the bar stool and says . " Come on little man lets go and see where Mummy and Marion are."

Xander runs towards the door his Mother walked through earlier and with the innocence of a child calls. " Marion was my Daddy's name why does she have a boys name?'

Nick grins at a stunned Dave. " Come on Dave explain that one to him."

"Bloody Alex still giving me grief." Dave deadpans.

Nick places his hand on Dave's shoulder as they walk outside. "His family are in good hands Dave I have every faith you'll get all the answers right."

Dave feels buoyed by the comment as the last bastion falls completely away.

Nick is his friend and he feels it.

He's no Alex Ryan but neither is he.

But they share a bond of memories and love for a man who left them all too soon.

...

Xander runs back towards them calling out the answer to his question obviously solved by Stevie.

He's the image of his Father and even though he's only four he's tall and strong and has a beautiful smile and the mischeivious eyes of Alex.

"He's still with us Dave." Nick whispers.

Dave grins as he tosses the young boy into the air .

"Yeah he is Nick and every day we'll see more and more of him." Dave replies.

Nick feels a warmth whoosh through him as the expectations of Xander's growth rush at him.

Life is moving forward for all of them and they're taking Alex with them.

...

 _ **The End ...I hope you liked it? Please review...**_


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